Public Records
by penguinacan
Summary: “This semester is going to suck.” It was their last year together at Konoha Prep Academy before they start university. Amidst kisses, misses, and disses is the sacred Book Including All Things Crappy/Happy a.k.a.—the BIATCH.
1. find the feeling and pass it on

**Public Records**

Summary: "This semester is going to suck." It was their last year together at Konoha Prep Academy before they start university. Amidst kisses, misses, and disses is the sacred Book Including All Things Crappy/Happy a.k.a.—the BIATCH.

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**This ****book**** BIATCH belongs to:**

Pinkette

_Cinnamon Buns_

_**Goldie Locks**_

_Lady Lavender_

**Return this at:**

The Secret Underground Association of Cool People.

_**To get there, click your sexy, red heels together three times and say, "There's no place like home." **_

_See ya there! :D_

**Contact this person at:**

_1-800-N-UR-DRMZ_

**Additional Information:**

_This a lot of trouble for one notebook…_

_It's not just a notebook, Hina, it's SACRED! It's all-knowing, wonderful, magnificent, and all those other great adjectives. It's an important documentation of our last year together. It's kind of a bummer actually. I mean, I am GRADUATING next semester! We're all splitting up for university, and I'm going to miss you idiots. Why do you think I'm stressing so much?_

PMS, perhaps?

_You're ruining the moment, jerk! Besides, this year's going to be tough for you guys too. _

_They say junior year is murder, and that it actually caused people to drop out. But that's just a rumor, right Ten-chan?_

_Absolutely. (NOT)_

_**Come on, how crazy can it get?**_

**-**

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_**The wheels on the bus go round and round**_

Tenten-chan must be getting a kick out of this. The BIATCH (truly, wonderful name, props to Ino-pig for that one) is finally in use after an entire summer of abandonment. (Seriously, it felt like we were playing a really big game of Hot Potato.) Not even Tenten used her precious creation.

Anyway, I'm afraid our Book is going to have a really pathetic beginning…

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When one departs for boarding school, you'd think one's parents would be heartbreakingly miserable or at least a little dejected, but no—this is not so. It went a little something like this:

_[Bang! Bang! Door wrenches open fiercely]_

_The Panicking Goddess: Mom! What are you still doing in asleep?! You have to get up! Hurry!_

_Procreator I: …Sakura, go back to sleep._

_[Muffled mumbling]_

_The Enraged Goddess: I can't! You're supposed to take me to school today. I have to be there by six, __remember__?_

_Procreator II: …Aksjadfk…_

(He really isn't a morning person)

_The Exasperated Goddess: Very suave, dad, really. Can we go __now__? It's already eight o' clock!_

_[Sighing in an agitated way]_

(How on earth can they possibly be irked with ME?!]

_Procreator I: Just…go wait in your room while I get ready, ok Sakura?_

_[Grumbling and __NOT__ happy about this __AT ALL__]_

_The Somewhat Placated But Not Really Goddess: Fine._

_[Two and a half episodes of the 'Simpsons' and two chapters of __To Kill A Mockingbird__ later…]_

_Procreator I: Sakura? Are you ready to go, sweetie?_

_The Exploding Goddess: I'VE BEEN READY FOR TWO HOURS!!!!_

_[The Bane Of My Existence emerges in his soccer uniform]_

_B.O.M.E.: What's the psycho screeching about now? _

(It's pronounced "Bomb" by the way)

_The Glaring Goddess: Go away, moron._

_Procreator I: Be nice, children. _

_[Turns to B.O.M.E.]_

_Procreator I: Inari, why are you dressed like that?_

_B.O.M.E.: Well, if I played today's game in my pajamas, people might look at me funny._

_The Ignored Goddess: Are you sure it's not just your face?_

_[Glaring contest]_

_B.O.M.E.: Shut up._

_The Older And Wiser Goddess: Clever, very original. Really._

_Procreator I: Enough you two. [Ignoring her oldest and dearest] Go wait in the car, Inari. I'll be right there. _

_[B.O.M.E. leaves the room]_

_The Betrayed Goddess: Mom—!_

_Procreator I: Relax Sakura, I'm sure your father can take you to Konoha. _

_The Defeated And Totally Not Sulking Goddess: Whatever._

_[Procreator II comes into view dressed in a suit with his cell phone pressed to his ear]_

_Procreator II: …Okay, I understand…Yes, that's fine…Yes, sir…Good-bye. [hangs up and faces Procreator I] Honey? I'm going to the office now. My client needs to see me for something very urgent. I'll be working at the firm all night. _

_Procreator I: But sweetheart, I need you to take Sakura to school. _

_[Frowns in confusion]_

_Procreator II: I thought you were taking her._

_Procreator I: I have to take Inari to his soccer game. Besides, I thought it would be a good chance for you and Sakura to spend some time together. Can't you take her this year? Just this once?_

_Procreator II: You know I'd love to, but something just came up, and I really can't get out of it. _

_Procreator I: Are you sure you can't cancel? _

_[Procreator II shakes his head in that well-that's-just-too-darn-bad way that he always does. B.O.M.E. returns, annoyed]_

(Just not as annoyed as I am.)

_B.O.M.E.: Mom! I'm going to be late!_

(Again, he comes up short compared to me.)

_Procreator I: Just a minute, Inari. Be patient._

_[B.O.M.E. groans obnoxiously and stomps away]_

_Procreator I: What are we going to do? Sakura has to be at school by __tonight__._

_Procreator II: You know I'd take her if I could, but I have to work._

_Procreator I: [Frowns in disapproval] You're always at work nowadays. Sakura needs you. _

_Procreator II: Sakura knows how much I love her, and it would be unreasonable for her to ask more of me than I can give her right now. _

_[Angry tones]_

_Procreator I: Does she? Does she really know that?_

_Procreator II: Well she should!_

(Somehow, I don't think they're talking about me anymore.)

_[Collective sighs; a voice carries into the room]_

_B.O.M.E.: MOM!_

_The Fed Up Beyond Belief Goddess About To Have A Breakdown: You know what? Forget it, I'll just take the bus. _

_Procreator I: [Contemplates it for like, half a nanosecond] Well, it would save us a lot of trouble. _

_Procreator II: [Digs around in pant pockets] Here's enough money for the bus fare, and also for school. __Use it wisely._

_-_

And _that_ is how I ended up on the stupid bus, stuck with an old lady whose perfume smells like cheese and pickles and her super freaky (grand?)son. Like really, I think he has Asperger's Syndrome (Haha, ass-burger, I'm freakin' hilarious) or OCD.

He's already rearranged his backpack, like, fourteen times. (Who knew it was possible to fit three books, two shirts, a walkman, cassettes, a notebook, and a complete set of utensils into that tiny amount of space?) He keeps taking everything out and putting it back in. Once every five minutes or so I get annoyed, so I _accidentally_ bump his elbow and BAM—chaos. You'd think it was the end of the world.

Ah, for all the little hidden joys.

…

I freaking HATE the bus.

And I'm disowning my parents.

-_Pinkette_

**Comments Section**

"Wow…would you like some cheese with that whine?"—Cinnamon Buns

"No thanks, I'm still reeling from that knuckle sandwich you gave me. :D"—Pinkette

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_**Of all the crappy nights**_

So, my bus was late.

By three hours.

Did I mention I hate the bus?

I met Anko-sensei in the front office. (Okay, whose brilliant idea was it to have _her_ greet the new arrivals?)

Yeah she sent me to the dean's office. Who knew Tsunade-sensei worked late? Well, sort of anyway. I suspect alcohol was involved. I wasn't close enough to actually smell her breath.

If she was drunk I must say, I'm impressed. It's not easy to lecture someone and pace around the room in three inch heels, while inebriated. (Not that I'd know from experience or course. I'm just an _angel_. Please don't be jealous Ino-pig, I can _hear_ you roll your eyes.)

She said she'll have to notify my parents about my (their) misdemeanor.

I haven't even been here for a full hour yet, and I've already been busted by the dean.

Right now I'm in the dining hall eating dinner since I didn't have anything on the bus. (The OCD kid refused to share his bagel with me.) The food is disgusting, more so than usual on account of it being the left-overs.

Hmm…I'm contemplating whether or not I should give the three of you each a wakeup call. It's unnaturally quiet at midnight.

Nah, it'd be three against one, and I remember the last time I woke Tenten up for no good reason.

Scary.

Le sigh…

I have a feeling this semester is going to suck.

-_Pinkette_

**Comments Section**

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"At least you're here…?"—Lady Lavender

"HA! I laugh."—Pinkette

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"Jeez, what's with all the moaning?"—Goldie Locks

"I don't know, pig, you tell me. :D"—Pinkette

"Shut up."—Goldie Locks

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**To: Pinkette**

**From: Goldie Locks**

Yo, Sakurat. Pick up your phone and text me back.

You still haven't told us about your schedule. Muy

importante.

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**TBC…**

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Written sentiments are so classy.

Yeah, I know. I'm like forty. But I'm really not.

And even though one of the characters who has possession of the notebook, there might still be comments because the others will read over it and _then_ comment it when they see it. It's kinda out of order but whatever…can't say I care too much.


	2. this could be the first day of life

**Public Records**

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_**And she scores!**_

8/30/09

Life is _amazing_.

Like, for real.

I just got my schedule: pre-cal, creative writing, medical science technology, and all advanced core classes. I couldn't have made a better schedule myself.

And guess who's a reporter for KPA's News Broadcast (you know, leafTV?)?

Bonus question: who works with/for me as a cameraman?

Clues:

1.) He has the world's sexiest smirk (after his brother)

2.) He's in not one, not _two_, but THREE of my classes :D

3.) He's so pretty guys have man-crushes on him.

4.) And for all you Ino's out there (displaying symptons of in _intense_ stupidity), his initials are S.U.

Yeah, if you guys don't know who I'm talking about then you people are morons.

Anyway, I don't know why he's the _cameraman_, I mean, you won't even get to see him, for crying out loud. It's almost a crime since how can he not be on TV with a face like that? The staff and faculty should be on high alert after all his fangirls find out. There'll be a riot.

The two of us are SOULMATES! Sasuke just hasn't realized it yet, but we're fated to be to be together. He'll realize it by the end of this year, though.

I guarantee it.

-_Pinkette_

**Comments Section**

"It's been four years, hon. If the boy hasn't noticed you, he probably never will."—Cinnamon Buns

"You suck."—Pinkette

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"Sasuke, taking a part in school activities? I can only assume blackmail was involved."—Goldie Locks

"You're actually not that far off. He needed another credit. It was either leafTV or the spring musical. I almost wish he picked the school musical."—Pinkette

"Totally. Like Hamlet."—Goldie Locks

"Hamlet? Really?"—Pinkette

"It's the whole, 'in tights' concept."—Goldie Locks

"Either way, he's still going to have to be around me for at least three hours almost every day."—Pinkette

"I know. Poor guy."—Goldie Locks

"Jealous much, Pig?"—Pinkette

"Absolutely fuming, Saku-rat."—Goldie Locks

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"Sakura-chan, I'm starting to worry about this unhealthy obsession you have."—Lady Lavender

"Dude, two words: Naruto Uzamaki. Nuff said."—Pinkette

"…Okay, point taken."—Lady Lavender

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_**New resolution**_

8/30/09

I give up.

At 6:34 PM on Wednesday, August 30, 2009, I officially give up.

On what you say? On love.

With Naruto Uzamaki anyway.

Why?

Playback please!

2 Hours Earlier:

_[In the courtyard]_

_Ignorant Fool: Hinata! I haven't seen you since the last day of school, what's up?_

_[Looks up from sketch drawing]_

_Yours Truly: N-Naruto-kun! I didn't s-see you there. _

(Damn that stutter)

_[Grinning for no darn reason]_

_Ignorant Fool: It's good to see you. What are you drawing?_

_Yours Truly: It's nothing important, r-really._

_[Tries desperately to hide portfolio]_

_Ignorant Fool: Don't worry, Hinata, I won't laugh._

_[Suddenly, portfolio is not in reach anymore]_

_Yours Truly: No, Naruto-kun, don't!_

_[Too late!]_

_Ignorant Fool: [blank-ish face] …Hinata? _

_Yours Truly: …Y-yes? _

_Ignorant Fool: …_

_Yours Truly: Naruto-kun?_

_[Beams at Yours Truly and holds up a sketch]_

(You know, the one with the RANDOM guy. Let me describe it for you: spiky hair (blonde, not that you can tell), big expressive eyes (of glowing sapphire), a big smile…YEAH.)

_[Ignorant Fool is wide-eyed]_

_Ignorant Fool: Is that…?_

_[Heart flutters]_

_Yours Truly: Yes?_

_Ignorant Fool: …your boyfriend?_

_[Heart drops to stomach]_

_Yours Truly: Eh?_

_[Points to drawing]_

_Ignorant Fool: This guy. Is he your boyfriend? He looks kinda familiar, like I've seen him before, but I don't recognize him. Is it Kiba?_

(Un-freaking-believable.)

_[Face-faults]_

_Yours Truly: No, Naruto-kun. That's NOT Kiba. And he's not my boyfriend._

_Ignorant Fool: Who isn't? Kiba or this guy?_

_[Sighing]_

_Yours Truly: Neither._

_Ignorant Fool: Oh. [shrugs] Well. _

_[Wanting to bash face against the wall]_

_Yours Truly: Yeah…well._

_[Uncomfortable silence and then…]_

_Temptress: Naruto-kun! _

_Ignorant Fool: Ayame! How are you?_

_[Walks up to Ignorant Fool, ignoring Yours Truly]_

_Temptress: Naruto-kun! _

(Is there an echoe?)

_Temptress: I'm great. I haven't seen you in a while._

_Ignorant Fool: Yeah, I've been busy this summer._

_[Flashes brilliant smile]_

_Temptress: Doing what? Working out? It shows, you'll make soccer team for sure! I'll come to your games and cheer you on._

_[Embarrassed look]_

_Ignorant Fool: Thanks, Ayame. _

(Oh gag me with a spoon)

_Ignorant Fool: Oh! And this is Hinata, Ayame. _

_Temptress: Nice to meet you!_

_Yours Truly: Y-you too!_

_[Smile widens]_

_Temptress: You are too cute! You must be one of the new seventh graders. If you need any help with anything, like directions or something like that, you can always find me, okay? _

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I am seventeen-years-old. I am a junior. I am almost-but-not-quite out of hi!school.

How the _hell_ can she think I am a seventh grader?

And _HIM_. How can he NOT tell that it was a picture of HIM! _Everyone_ _else_ knew. (i.e. you three) There goes seven years of expensive private art lessons…

WHY ME?!

Well, you know what? NO _MORE_!

I GIVE UP!

There is no justice in the world.

-_Lady Lavender_

**Comments Section**

"She did not."—Pinkette

"She TOTALLY DID."—Lady Lavender

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"HE did not."—Cinnamon Buns

"HE TOTALLY DID!"—Lady Lavender

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"What did you do? What did you say?"—Goldie Locks

"I didn't say anything. I was too shocked to really do anything, so I just excused myself and left."—Lady Lavender

"Wait. So you just walked away?"—Goldie Locks

"Well…fled is more like it."—Lady Lavender

"What about Naruto? Didn't he say anything?"—Goldie Locks

"I think he was trying really hard not to laugh."—Lady Lavender

"Is this really the end of the 'NaruHina' era? D:"—Goldie Locks

"I prefer to think of it as a wonderful, new beginning. Maybe the 'GaaraHina' period?"—Lady Lavender

"…I'm not feeling it."—Goldie Locks

"Sigh"—Lady Lavender

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_**Trouble in paradise**_

9/1/09

I can't believe the summer is over already. I mean, it seems like only yesterday Hinata was blubbering about spending the entire vacation apart, not 2,160 hours earlier…(Yeah, I actually looked it up, don't judge!)

As I was saying, the summer, so BORING!

The only thing I did was hang out with Kiba, resident boy next door.

(NOTHING HAPPENED!)

(ISH)

(I mean we might have macked a few times, but nothing serious…he made fun of my soaps too much.)

Now on to the best part of the first day of school: GOSSIP.

(DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!)

Okay, in physics, you will not believe who sits behind me. Or should I say _whos_.

I was just sitting in class listening to the first day of school rules and regulations, blah, blah, blah…

Then I hear this tiny bickering coming from behind me, so I being the upstanding student that I am, ignore it. Or try to anyway. But I am only Ino, so I turned around, and I see _Kin and Shikamaru_.

That's right, Kin Tsuchi, the one who shoved Saku-rat into the dirt in seventh grade.

(HOW DARE SHE?!)

I hate that girl. (And it has nothing to do with the fact, Shika and I used to go out together. Absolute zilch.)

How can she get away with so much shit? Sakura had a bloody nose_ and_ an ugly haircut because of her! (Luckily I fixed it for her.) It took three years for her hair to grow back. She will not get away with it. I mean, people get really attached to their hair, they spend time with it, they laugh with it, they talk with it, they do a LOT of things with it. It was really pretty too…How would she like it if someone else took her hair?!

I will destroy that bitch.

-_Goldie Locks_

**Comments Section**

"Yeah, you're completely over Shikamaru."—Cinnamon Buns

"You bet your sweet petunia I am."—Goldie Locks

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"Should I feel honored or scared?"—Pinkette

"Both."—Goldie Locks

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"You're not going to chop off all of her hair, are you?"—Lady Lavender

"I make no promises."—Goldie Locks

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_**Um…**_

9/4/09

I know this whole BIATCH thing was my (superb, fantastic) idea, but…I got nothing. Lacrosse team tryouts are not until next week, and everything is nice and peaceful right now, so…

I kinda made a copy of this survey they made us take during third period and glued it in here just to take up space:

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**THE DEPRESSION/SUICIDE SURVEY**

_Please answer the following questions._

_1.) What is your name?_

This one's easy. Tenten.

_2.) Have you ever suffered a traumatic experience or depression of any kind?_

Bambi kind of made me cry when I was ten…Does that count?

_3.) If so, would you like to talk about it with your school counselor?_

Nah, I'm over it now.

_4.) Do you know/suspect anyone who have problems with depression?_

Sasuke Uchiha. Seriously. You didn't hear it from me.

_5.) Do you ever have any violent or suicidal thoughts about yourself or others?_

You mean there are people who don't?

_6.) Do you have anyone to talk to should you ever feel upset?_

My posse's very supportive, thank you.

_7.) On a scale of 1-10, how big of a problem do you think suicide is?_

At this school, with people like Naruto and Gai? Probably a -17 ¾.

_8.) Do you believe students and faculty members should be allowed to take medication for depression during class?_

YES, high people are just what we need at school. Bring on the stoners.

_9.) Can you identify a few causes for depression?_

Well, to start with, this survey…

_10.) Based on this survey, do you have any concerns? _

Yes, do I pass?

-_Cinnamon Buns_

**Comments Section**

"For the last time, Sasuke is NOT depressed!"—Pinkette

"Right, he's special."—Cinnamon Buns

"Tenten…"—Pinkette

"Alright, alright, he's delightfully tickled and chipper. Like Barney."—Cinnamon Buns

"…"—Pinkette

":D"—Cinnamon Buns

"…Why do you do that?"—Pinkette

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"You loser, you actually made a copy of this and put it in here?"—Goldie Locks

"SHUT UP."—Cinnamon Buns

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"Naruto and Gai? I can just picture it now, fighting despair, one angsting soul at a time."—Lady Lavender

"Yeah, dejection and melancholy don't stand a chance. And by the way, how are you holding up with the whole Naruto-abstention thing?"—Cinnamon Buns

"Not so well, I had a dream he asked me to marry him."—Lady Lavender

"Don't worry, it'll get easier. It's like ex-Lax, you have to cleanse him from your existence."—Cinnamon Buns

"I'm going to pretend you didn't compare my dilemma to laxatives."—Lady Lavender

"It's only an analogy. Though, it would be pretty funny if they made ex-Lax for love. Ha."—Cinnamon Buns

"Not even."—Lady Lavender

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**To: Cinnamon B.**

**From: Pinkette**

Shizune, the counselor, just came and pulled

Sasuke out of class. I'm sensing you had

something to do with this.

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**To: Pinkette**

**From: Cinnamon B.**

What? Little ol' me?

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**TBC…**


End file.
